I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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