3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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