We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize