I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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