one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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