4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
