Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
