According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
this will be a night to untag.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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