Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
