I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
