i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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