So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
