think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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