Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
