ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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