my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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