K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
