Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
this hospital has no fireball
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
