come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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