another moral hangover. fuck.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
