I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
