If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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