how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
