Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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