theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
