I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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