Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
