can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
