it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
