is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
