His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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