holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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