You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize