My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
