Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
