where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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