you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
