maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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