I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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