VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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