so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
