Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
