so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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