I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
