So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
