I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
