..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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