Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
