you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize