I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
