I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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