How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
