In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
