I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
