fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
