Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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